Defending Your Life

"Being from Earth, as you are, and using as little of your brain as you do, your life has pretty much been devoted to dealing with fear. Fear is like a giant fog. It sits on your brain and blocks everything - real feelings, true happiness, real joy. They can't get through that fog. But you lift it, and buddy, you're in for the ride of your life."
- Bob Diamond


Does fear keep us from truly living?


When I was young, I had an overwhelming fear of being in the dark. I was always afraid that I would see a ghost. There are times when that feeling creeps up on me, still today. The source of this fear is still undetectable.  It could be a result of knowing about and seeing death around me at a very young age.


My mom has told a funny story about something I said while in line at the grocery store.  As the woman in front of us was placing her items on the conveyer belt, she heard the most peculiar thing coming from the mouth of a little girl in the cart behind her. 


"Mommy, are we going to go visit daddy at the mortuary?" I said.


A look of heartbroken compassion was transferred from the eyes of that woman to my mom's, as she offered her condolences. My mom had to chuckle a little as she explained to the woman that her husband, my father, is a funeral director.


I spent a lot of time at the mortuary.  My sister and I would play under and on top of the pool table in the staff lounge and would play "car wash" with our happy meal Hotwheels and the shoe shiner. For the most part, we had fun. But, there was always the possibility of seeing what was behind the big door at the end of the room.


My dad was very careful to make sure that we didn't see any of the bodies that laid motionless on the gurneys.  However, there were occasions when business couldn't stop to protect the eyes of a child. So, I grew up knowing that death was very real.


The combination of being around death and being raised as a Christian has helped guide me to ask myself deeper questions about what happens to a soul after it dies.


Do we rest until Jesus comes?


Then what?


Are we held accountable for what we have done, thought, and felt here, on Earth?


What if every moment of our lives was recorded?


What if everything we do in public and in private would be used to help us defend our place in eternity, after we die?


After watching the movie, Defending Your Life, I was haunted by these questions.  In the movie, the main character, Daniel Miller, dies in a car crash and ends up in "Judgment City." During his second day in the city, he meets his defense attorney, Bob Diamond, and begins his judgment process. During the trial, all present (two judges, the prosecuting and defense lawyers, and Daniel) view moments of his life as evidence to prove whether he is ready for the next "phase" or if he needs to go back.


When I saw this movie, even as a twelve year-old, I couldn't help but contemplate the similarities and differences between the ideas presented in this movie and what I had learned in the Bible.


Even though not many people like to think about it on a daily basis, it is inevitable that we will all die. Many people, even Christians that I know, live their entire lives either in denial or in fear of death. But, statements in the Bible provide hope for those who believe.


While we are here on earth, we can "walk in the shadow of the valley of death" and "fear no evil" (Psalm 23:4).


Really, anything we fear becomes our antagonist. What would it be like to live each moment without fear? Could we possibly sin if we didn't fear?


In the end, it is our fear that stops us from living to our full potential. "For sin is the sting that results in death, and the law gives sin its power" (1 Corinthians 15:56).  We can either fear the law, or live in love and naturally abide by it. 


What would our day look like if we tried to live in order to love to our best potential?  What kind of things would we be proud to look at if we had to watch ourselves at our judgment?


Through the movie and through the many times I have seen a lifeless shell in a casket, I have learned that death is inevitable, but living well and conquering fear is a choice.